Dörtlich ist alles erklärt, was man zum Thema Fußball wissen muss (und folgerichtig wird Alemannia Aachen auch kein Mal erwähnt). Schon die einleitenden lauwarmen Worte geben die Gangart vor:
Why is soccer so popular everywhere in the world but here? Is it because athletes in other countries are too poor to afford equipment for actual sports? Too drunk or stupid to know how to use said equipment? A combination of both? Never one to leave an investigative stone unturned, Cracked delves deeply into the matter, casting our investigative gaze on the phenomenon that is soccer.
Nachdem geklärt wurde, was Fußball und der World Cup eigentlich sind, geht der Cracker in medias res:
How is Soccer played?
Mostly through kicking and chasing, but there are other valuable skills, such as faking injuries and diving. Expert divers have the uncanny ability to drop like a black-hatted extra in a spaghetti Western whenever anyone comes within three or four feet of them.
Allen Warnungen zum Trotz:
I have some mild brain damage, so I've decided to watch Soccer anyway. What do I do?
(...) Once the match ends, check to see if your team scored. As a simple rule, if they did, they won 1-0. If not, they lost 1-0. If your team loses, you can choose between setting the stadium on fire, starting a riot that will lead to dozens of trampling deaths or shooting one of the players on your team.
Also hin, und das ganze Teil gelesen. Es lohnt, sich und andere.
PS: Dude, WTF? LOL!!!11